[00:00:00] Speaker A: Sa.
If you dig the twisted, admire the outlandish, and are enamored by the unusual, you're in the right place.
True crime, the supernatural, the unexplained. Now you're speaking our language. If you agree, join us as we dive into the darker side. You know, because it's more fun over here.
Welcome to Total Conundrum Warning. Some listeners may find the following content disturbing. Listener discretion is advised.
[00:01:08] Speaker B: Hey, Conundrum crew. Welcome back to another fun episode. Today we have a special guest.
We have Deborah Roku from Paranormal.
How do you say that again? I'm sorry.
[00:01:24] Speaker C: So it's actually, it's. So it's Deborah. I've got that. So it's Roque and it's Paranormal Paradigma.
[00:01:31] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:01:32] Speaker C: That was. You're very welcome.
[00:01:33] Speaker B: And I just had you before we started recording and of course my mind just. Woo. Gone.
Okay, well, welcome to the show and could you tell us a little bit about you?
[00:01:47] Speaker C: Oh, yes.
So I guess I'll get down to the, you know, know, the good stuff, the nitty gritty, which is I am a medium and I am also a healer because my medium abilities allow my clients, I guess, or allow people to heal at a subconscious level through spirit communication.
So that's what I do, that's what I have done. But I haven't always been doing this. I've actually just been doing this for about a year now because before this I was kind of growing and like just learning about spirituality and doing tarot and all that. And then before that I was a complete atheist. So it's just been like a stepwise sort of journey.
And now I'm here. So it's. Never thought I'd be here, but I am and it's. It's going well. So.
[00:02:42] Speaker B: Wonderful.
[00:02:43] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:02:44] Speaker B: So what was the moment or experience that first awakened your spiritual gifts or maybe realized the path that you were meant to walk looked a little bit more multidimensional?
[00:02:57] Speaker C: Well, I guess there's a couple awakenings because I guess some people would call my. Me coming into a medium, my medium abilities and awakening. And then. But then before that there was a sort of awakening where I kind of switched from. From the atheist mindset to a more like broader.
I guess some would call it like agnostic mindset. Someone somewhere where I was like, well, maybe I'm wrong. So I guess the switch from atheism to being a little bit more open happened because I. My father passed away.
And so when my dad passed away, you know, it was an unexpected incident. We didn't expect for him to pass. I mean, we knew he was a little older, so this was 2015.
He was 71. So it's not like he was like the youngest, but he wasn't like battle, at least in my. In my head.
So we had him. He passed away. But it wasn't that he passed away. It was like that night that everything happened. So that weekend I was with my sister in Orlando. We were going to Disney World.
Sorry, no. Yeah, well, yeah, we did go to Disney, but we were in Orlando not because of Disney. We were in Orlando because we were going to watch the premiere of Jurassic World. I will never forget this.
Obviously. Yeah. And so we were together and I remember speaking to my dad that Friday and he was a little upset with me because we didn't call him when we got to Orlando because that was the thing. He was like, well, you girls have to call me when you get places so I know that you're okay. And I was like, oh, I'm sorry, dad, but we're okay, so on and so forth.
Don't worry, we'll talk soon and we'll make plans for Father's Day, which was the next weekend. And so I said, okay. So I ended up talking to him Friday night or Friday. At some point, Saturday rolls around. Normal day.
We see the movie, we come back to the hotel.
And I woke up around midnight after going to sleep with my father in my head. Like, I could not get him out of my head. It was just like, something's wrong. I don't know what's going on.
Something's wrong with my father. And at first I was freaking out, but then I kind of settled into.
It's just anxiety.
You're. He's fine. Call him tomorrow. It's just maybe, you know, I'm worried because I know he's older and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I just convinced myself that it was nothing to then get a call at 2:36 in the morning telling me that my father passed away.
[00:05:38] Speaker B: Oh, I'm sorry.
[00:05:40] Speaker C: And that, to me was just really uncanny. I just said I hadn't because it was the feeling of it. It was just the way that it came about that was so strange for me.
It was like a sudden, like a knowing, like I know something's wrong with my father, you understand? Like this. There's something that I couldn't shake off. But either way, I convinced myself that it was just me being, you know, anxious or overreacting or some sort of like, other psychological situation.
[00:06:11] Speaker B: Right.
[00:06:11] Speaker C: So I went back to sleep. That then it was just everything that happened afterwards that also kept being strange. Like strange things happening. Like, all of a sudden I'm like tapping into like my own intuition a little more. For instance, a few months later, I moved to the Dominican Republic. So he died in June. In August, I was already living in the Dominican Republic. And then in October, I found out that my then boyfriend was cheating on me. But again, it came in through a knowing.
And so it was little things like that. Then my friend, she started coming into medium abilities, which I thought was strange at the time. I was like, well, that's odd. You understand? Like this, this just, just, just came up. Like it wasn't like her the whole time. It was just something that came up. And one day she was like, look, your dad keeps trying to come to me. Your dad was. He wants to talk to you. He wants to talk to me. He wants. And I'm like, okay, then what, what does he want to say? Like, I don't know. What do you. What do you want me to tell you? Right? So we end up talking and she's like. She said things to me that were very like him.
And I was like, yeah, okay, that's strange. Things that she didn't know. Even though she was my friend, it's not like she knew my dad intimately. Understand? Like there was.
[00:07:25] Speaker B: Right.
[00:07:26] Speaker C: There wasn't none of that. But like, again, I was in a. In a moment of like, I was still very skeptical, you understand? I didn't believe in anything. Even though I had already experienced something strange to me, it was just like a hiccup.
And so when she was talking to me, something that really hit home for me, and I said, okay, this is too specific or this is too, like, too true for this, not for there not to be something else. And it was when she was like, why do I keep seeing the number 236?
Why do I keep seeing the number 236? There's something with the number 236. And I think right there, I almost, like, I almost fainted. Like, I was just like, I can't. What do you mean? Like, how are you seeing this number? And she's like, I don't know. He's showing me the number 236. And I was like, well, that's the time that I got the call to tell me that he died. Wow.
So even though she didn't understand why she was getting this number, it was just the fact that she got the number. Do you understand? Like, out of all the numbers that exist, you Understand? She could have said 20, like, I don't know, but she said 236.
And that's when I said, okay, there is something conscious out here, and I don't understand it.
[00:08:40] Speaker B: Right.
[00:08:41] Speaker C: So then I went into.
Just deep diving into, like, spirituality for myself and doing a lot of, like, you know, my own work.
And then last year in June, July is when I came into my own abilities. And that was a whole other situation in itself. I mean, it was beautiful, but it was also very traumatic, traumatized a lot of my family because of the very intense nature in which it occurred to.
And I don't share this a lot with anybody because. Or a lot of people, because they just. I don't. First of all, I think people think I'm crazy or will think I'm crazy. And secondly, it's like you had to see it to believe it.
And so I don't. I don't really, like, give out too much of the details because I don't think people would definitely understand what it means to be completely powerless for a while. Like, I did not have power over myself. And I had to sort of go through a few tests to really understand what was happening and kind of get to the level that I'm at now. And it is very strange to describe in that. But when I look into or when I speak to people who know about these things, we're like, deeply invested in the spiritual. They tell me, like, well, that's not uncommon if you're really gifted. Well, that's not uncommon if you really are connected. Like, there are certain beings that will test you. There's certain things that have to happen.
And it was just like. Like, for instance, like there was times where, like, nobody can touch me.
I didn't know why.
I just know that whoever was around me, the being that was around me was very.
And I was not allowed to be touched.
[00:10:32] Speaker B: Okay?
[00:10:33] Speaker C: And people don't get that. But this was part of the awakening process. And then that, like, took almost a month. I was out of work for three weeks. Like, thank God my job is what it is. And they allowed me to have, like a three week sort of like, situation.
And during this time, I just. Apparently, what they tell me is like, you opened a portal. You opened yourself up. Like, you just, like, went, hello. And allowed things to come in. And I said, I don't know how I did that. And they're like, somebody told me, like, one of another medium was like, it's because of you. Like, who you are, what you are. And I was like, sure.
Okay.
[00:11:12] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:11:13] Speaker C: Still very cryptic and very, like, mysterious, and I don't understand it. But these are just. Unfortunately, this is just sort of part of, I guess the business is, you know, you're going to get what you get, but that doesn't mean you're going to get everything right. So it's like the information that you get, it's what you're meant to get and what you're meant to know and other things you're not meant to know at the time that you're meant to know it. And you have to wait for those things or you have to work toward it. So when I entered into my medium abilities, it was just very intense process, but I made it through.
And then for a while, I mean, it got to the point where, like, I was. Went to a. Oh, my God. I was psychiatrically evaluated. And they were like, are you okay? And I was like, I'm okay. Am I okay? I was like, am I okay? You.
And then they were like, yeah, you're. You're. You're. You're fine. There's nothing wrong with you. And I said, okay, well, that. That straightens that out.
And then from there, it was just kind of starting to do readings. Like, this is what I was told to do. They're like, let's start doing readings. And when I say they, I mean, like, my beings, my spirit team, my. The team that now guides me or that has been guiding me, but now I'm aware that they're guiding me. And so they were just like, start doing readings. See for yourself.
[00:12:27] Speaker B: So when you. When you say spirit team.
[00:12:31] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:12:32] Speaker B: How do they communicate with you? Or how do you see your spirit team or your spirit guides?
[00:12:39] Speaker C: So I can see things, but I actually kind of don't want to always see things because sometimes when you see things, you just wish you had it. So because of the things that come up, I just. Just some strange things out there. But when I do see things, they're sort of in my mind's eye. It's not like they're physically present like a ghost or something like that. That. Like a. You know. Yeah. What people would describe a goat to be. It's not like they're in my space or whatever. What I can see that is more like ghostly, is like movement. Like, sometimes I will see movement in the room.
So it kind of looks like a wisp of light or something like that. Okay, I can see that. Or I can see beams of light. Like, sometimes I see blue, or sometimes I'll see red or gold.
And I'm like, oh, I know what that is. Oh, something's here.
But that's how I see.
And then if I kind of, like, tap in and I really focus in, I can distinguish features. I'm like, oh, you. Like yesterday, I had. I had a reading, and it was so strange. Like, I'm looking at this person, spirit guy, but I'm not really looking because there's nothing there.
[00:13:53] Speaker B: Right.
[00:13:53] Speaker C: But in my mind's eye, I'm seeing this, and suddenly I see two heads. And I'm like, what the heck? That was really strange. I was like, what is? I was like, you have two heads. And he was like, yeah, I actually do. And I was like, oh, okay. Interesting.
Hadn't experienced that before.
I was just so, like, weird.
But okay, so I see that. And then the way the information comes through is like a direct channel. So, like, consciousness to consciousness.
I don't know what that would be called, but I basically allow them to use me. So, like, the conscious entities, they sort of use me as their avatar. So they speak to you through me.
[00:14:36] Speaker B: Okay. So, like, kind of.
[00:14:38] Speaker C: I do have a form of telepathy. Telepathy. Not that I can read your mind.
[00:14:42] Speaker B: Right.
[00:14:44] Speaker C: But in. In I can tap into whatever the being is thinking sometimes.
But they.
They use me as, like, their voice is basically how one of my gifts go. The other gift that I have is, like, what psychics have. They kind of just tap in and get, like, bits and pieces of information.
[00:15:08] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:15:09] Speaker C: Like when my friend did, and she was like, oh, I see this number, I feel this thing. And for me, I can do that if I, like, hone in and just take the time to focus in. But that doesn't come through as fluidly as a direct channel from another being, if that makes sense.
[00:15:26] Speaker B: Okay, Very cool.
[00:15:29] Speaker C: Yeah, it is interesting.
Yeah.
[00:15:31] Speaker B: I've.
I don't know. When we were on the phone, was it about a month ago or so? Yeah, I've seen the episode and stuff. I had mentioned that there was times in my life that I'd had dreams that had come true and that there's times that I feel that there's certain things, like having that extra being very scared of things from the other side and.
[00:16:01] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:16:03] Speaker B: Growing up in a house that was very active and stuff like that, and I think over the years that I just totally tried to turn off anything with that.
[00:16:17] Speaker C: And.
[00:16:19] Speaker B: There'S, you know, times that I think that there might be something that I just have shut off and won't. Don't want to tune into or didn't want to tune into.
So I understand that, you know, not under, like having stuff like that occur and then wondering because it what scares me is the thought of dreams, like dreaming something and then having that fear of that dream coming true right when it's not a good dream. And we had just discussed with one of our previous guests that we interviewed. I had told him that I had taken a melatonin and had a dream that our dog got hit.
And I saw it happen.
And this was a couple years ago and it scared me so bad that I have never touched melatonin again.
[00:17:07] Speaker A: We'll be back after these messages.
[00:17:10] Speaker B: Hey, Conundrum crew, have you ever listened to an episode and thought, wow, I wish I could wear this level of chaos.
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[00:17:42] Speaker B: Honestly, it's the perfect representation of our show. Smart, a little confused, and totally adorable.
[00:17:50] Speaker A: Dislike me?
[00:17:52] Speaker B: Yeah, sure, Jeremy, let's go with that.
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[00:18:12] Speaker B: Because nothing solves a mystery quite like.
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And back to the show.
[00:18:27] Speaker B: So, okay, but, so that's kind of, so I understand what you're saying about seeing things or experiencing things and wondering kind of what the heck is this all about.
And I think that's something that some people are definitely more sensitive to than others.
[00:18:43] Speaker C: Right? And I mean, this is when I started Paranormal Paradigma. Like, it's evolved to, you know, what it is now. And even then it's still evolving. It's not, I don't feel like it's really found its true voice yet with whatever, with all these changes. But when I initially started it, my focus was on individuals who had these paranormal experiences like yourself and were afraid and didn't want to admit these things or didn't want to, you know, share their stories for fear of being accused as being crazy or liars or, you know, have their reputation ruined or, you know, being seen as stupid because, you know, only stupid people believe in the paranormal or, you know, whatever sort of stigma that's associated with this phenomenon. And so that's What I was doing, especially with my content, was talking about, you know, the paranormal. This is before my medium abilities. So this was already stuff that I had learned in my own studies with my experiences to help people understand that the paranormal isn't abnormal or isn't strange or isn't unreal. It's just another. It's another facet of reality. Right. And that's it. We've just been closed off for many reasons. For you, for instance, you are closed off to it a little bit because of the fear. And fear is one of the biggest things that's going to close you off to anything.
[00:20:17] Speaker B: Right?
[00:20:18] Speaker C: Right.
[00:20:18] Speaker B: I still see things or experience things, but I try to debunk them. But Jeremy has never had a true paranormal experience. He's a very big skeptic.
[00:20:30] Speaker C: Well, I mean, I guess it depends on what you consider to be paranormal.
[00:20:36] Speaker B: What do you consider to be paranormal, Jeremy?
[00:20:42] Speaker A: A ghost.
[00:20:44] Speaker C: What is a ghost?
[00:20:48] Speaker A: Plasma. Like Ghostbusters. That little green dude.
[00:20:53] Speaker B: Slimer.
[00:20:56] Speaker C: Slimer? Slimer's great. But I mean, yeah, and I think that has a lot to do with. If Jeremy hasn't experienced something paranormal, it has a lot to do with what he assumes the paranormal is. Right. And this is a lot of people, you know, people think that the paranormal is what Jeremy just said. Ghosts, you know, plasma. Things that have to manifest in this reality for me to believe that it is true. But the paranormal is so much more. The paranormal is those times where you've, you know, felt something inside you and you don't understand what it means or why. It's this sort of like an intuition and a knowing, you know, that's paranormal. Or the times where, let's say, you got a calling, like something called to you, you understand. You're like, I'm gonna go this way. But then you're like, no, actually, this. And then all of a sudden, something else happens. The paranormal can manifest in so many ways. It doesn't necessarily have to be ghosts and cryptids and like, the boogeyman and things like that. The paranormal is actually very spiritual. And so people just kind of break up the two. They put them in two different sections. And the paranormal needs to be this, like, spooky scary, like ghosts and, I don't know, vampires, whatever. Who knows what people consider paranormal without sort of acknowledging and honoring the spiritual nature of the paranormal. So really, it comes down to what do you feel is paranormal? And then how connected are you to your own self? Like, how connected are you to yourself? Are you really connected to your feelings? Or do you bog those down because I will tell you there is a big, big connection between you and, like yourself, like the person, the individual being connected to your feelings. Be aligned to yourself and authentic to yourself. And opening, being able to open up into these experiences and feel them more than others who are not. And it also depends on your conditioning, too. If you're one of these people, like I was, who didn't believe in anything because they said that science is king, then you're not going to see it because you need to be open to it. And if you're not open to it, why would anything try to come to you? I mean, it does, but then you brush it off like I almost did.
[00:23:20] Speaker B: Right?
[00:23:20] Speaker C: You understand?
[00:23:21] Speaker B: And with science being a factor and the paranormal, or not the paranormal, just the other side will say, they say that it's. They. It's all energy. Your energy, when you pass your energy leaves your body, your soul leaves your body.
And so energy is something that scientists believe in. So where does the energy go?
And is the energy, what. When you're having an experience, what you're feeling, the goosebumps, the hair standing up in the back, feeling like you're being watched or you're not alone or stuff like that? I guess that's the way that I look at it as, you know, when people try to debunk it, it's like, well, when your body's telling you or you're feeling or experiencing something, then you know, what is it that you're experiencing? Because if at one moment you were fine and the next, all of a sudden you're having goosebumps or you're feeling uneasy, your intuition is telling you something, right?
[00:24:23] Speaker C: And then the problem with science, I mean, I was trained in the sciences. I have my master's degree in environmental science and policy. Like, I did the research. I. I'm trained in research, I've done the science, I' experiments. Like, this was my. I thought I was going to be a professor and an academic, like I was heading down that road.
And so science to me is very important. And as a matter of fact, I think science, you know, is just the other side of the same point of the paranormal or the spiritual. It's just the other facet, right? It's the, the same concept of duality. It's like the, the physical and the metaphysical, the dark and the light, the feminine and the masculine, and they're two signs of the same coin. It's all the same thing, right?
So science is very important. And I'm not, I'm not trying to, like, ever. I will never, like, criticize science, but like, to the point of, you know, I will criticize science. It's definitely science, as I say, but I'm not saying that it's not wrong. What I'm saying is that sometimes the more materialist or positivist framework in science has really been a detriment to the sort of, like, the development and understanding of the more spiritual aspect of our lives. And that's a problem because when it comes to science, everything has to be objective truth, a lot of it. Now things are sort of shifting, especially when it comes to the research on consciousness, right, or, or healing. You know, you, you, you listen to, like, Dr. Joe Dispenza and like, you, you listen to, like, people healing and just like, well, that's paranormal, right? Isn't it? In a way, it's spiritual because it has a lot to do with yourself and the link to yourself and how you, you yourself can heal your body.
But then other people in science, you know, they want to just say, well, that subjective stuff, all that subjective stuff is crap, you know, which is stupid, because again, same side of the other side of the same point. Objective, subjective, you understand? Objective reality, subjective reality. You can't deny one, right? Because then you're denying a critical component of the whole reality.
So it's just a shame because I feel like if science honored more of the subjective truths, right, it would allow us to feel more comfortable and less concerned about what others would think if we actually leaned into these subjective feelings, if we actually explored these things that we feel make us crazy. We don't understand or are scary. But a lot of it is the conditioning, as I said. So I get it, you know, been there, done that.
So I understand. Everybody has their own path, and at the end of the day, it's your choice.
[00:27:16] Speaker B: So in your experience and with your guides and whomever else you've communicated with, what did I say about the other side? What's. What's there? Is there heaven? Is there hell? Is there purgatory? Is it something that they don't.
[00:27:32] Speaker C: Well, I guess I'm going to ask you, what do you. What do you want to know about the other side? Because I can tell you some things. Like, if you want to clarify some things about what you've been taught, I can definitely give you answers as to what exists, because they've told me a lot of things, and I just don't know what you're looking for.
So what kind of answers do you want?
[00:27:58] Speaker B: I guess. And I was Thinking just more in general, but, you know, is there a place that you go to afterwards that like a heaven or a hell?
Or is it just, you know, reincarnation or, you know, like, let's say, you know, I pass away and years later Jeremy passes away, which he'll rebuttal on that one right away because he always says that he has to go first. But is there, you know, a time in space in that where when we both are not on this plane anymore, the earthly plane, will we be rejoined?
Or is it just living different lives over and over again in reincarnation, trying to, you know, like some people will say that you're reincarnated and forced to relive or to live a life to try to make change of mistakes that you made in your previous life. I know it's a couple, couple different examples, but.
[00:29:04] Speaker A: What time is happy hour?
[00:29:06] Speaker C: Yeah, Happy hour is all hour.
So a few things that I can talk about. Well, the first thing is if a medium or a psychic ever tells you exactly how it is, I don't know if they're, I'm not going to say that they're lying, but they might not have a true understanding because the reality is that we get, we get impressions and we get certain pieces of knowledge, but it's not the full picture, right? Because again, some of this is supposed to stay secret. We're not supposed to know all the mysteries of the universe, but we're supposed to know enough.
So from what I understand and from what I've been told and the way that it's been described to me is that the other side is not very different from this.
Do you understand? There, there's free will.
Do you go to a heaven or a hell?
There is something acting to that.
It's not the heaven that they paint to you, you understand in the Bible.
And like all these things, there is a kingdom, there are kingdoms is what I'm trying to say. So it's not just one kingdom, it's various kingdoms because we're talking about the whole freaking universe, you understand?
So all these galaxies and all these billions of stars and things like they're conscious entities.
So these all have something, there's something going on.
So when you're on the other side, there's realms or dimensions, right?
Whether you're reunited or not is going to. A lot depend on the type of connection that you have on this earth and then also the type of work that you've done on this earth because there is the, the ability to ascend or descend. Now, does that mean that there is a hell the way that they scrabbit.
Not exactly, though, kind of. Because as I've learned, if you thought it, it exists.
[00:31:13] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:31:14] Speaker C: Period.
So every. Basically, the universe is made of thought. And so the way that I. They describe things to me is like all those books that you read, they exist. That world, that, that situation exists somewhere.
The. The things that have been thought of and made exist. So. And if you think about it, that's how everything on this earth exists, right? So think about the Earth. You're sitting in a house or in a city, in a city, in a country, and it's all been made with somebody's thought. Somebody thought it and was like, I'm going to organize this or I'm going to make this, or I'm going to do this, or I'm going to do this. And it was made. So the desk that you're using, the microphone, the thing, everything was made from a thought.
It's kind of the same thing over there on the other side. Now, are you again, back to what happens to you? Will you decide now you're home. You're back home. You will be whatever it is that you are, your soul right now, even though you're human, that doesn't mean that your soul is human. God knows where you came from. Like, maybe you came from, like, I don't know, whatever part of the galaxy. I have no idea. I've had humans who then they cross over and they come and they are not human. I'm like, dolly, we're not human. And they're like, no, I'm like. I'm like, oh, okay. But you were. And they were like, yeah, we were. And I was like, oh, okay.
That doesn't mean you're human.
So it's just going to depend who you were or what you are. You come, you. You go back to that. Now you have a whole new set of memories and a whole new set of experiences. And then you make a decision, like, you know, are you going to be reunited with your loved ones? And typically. Yeah, because you've made this beautiful connection on Earth, or do you have things to work on? And I know family members that pass on, and because of all the stuff that has weighed them down, they end up going to another dimension or another realm where they need to, like, work and prove themselves to sort of be reunited with their family. Okay. So it just really depends. And then reincarnation. Yes, you just choose when you want to reincarnate. You can reincarnate wherever you want.
[00:33:26] Speaker B: Isn't that something that Rob said, Jeremy, that there was levels, different kind of different levels. And yeah, his aunt had.
His mother had issues with her sister result going back from childhood, and she couldn't progress basically to a next level until she had an issue resolved.
[00:33:51] Speaker C: Right. Because. And I'm glad that somebody else said that now. It makes me feel a little better.
Yes. That's what happens. People think that, like. And this. A lot of religion, like, not all the religions, the Abrahamic religions, tend to do this thing where they're like, you will be absolved from your sins. You will be judged.
And when you die. And it's not necessarily like that. I mean, you could be, yeah, sure. But that doesn't mean that it's exactly like that. Like, you're going to go and have, like a judgment day. Not all souls do. You kind of just already kind of depending on what weighs you down and the work you've already done, they're like, oh, this is that. Okay. This is the level that you go to.
Because when you're over here on the. On the other side, you understand there's still work that you need to do. So if you're, like, still harboring the anger and the pain and the resentment and the. The insecurity and the doubt or whatever, and it's weighed you down and you didn't really live to your full potential or your purpose on this life, you got a lot of healing to do, and it's going to happen over there. It either happens here while you're alive or happens over there on the other side. But then on the other side, you're kind of placed on different levels, and then it could be a little harder and a little lonely because you're not reunited with family right away.
[00:35:07] Speaker A: Yeah, sounds depressing.
[00:35:09] Speaker C: It could be.
It could be. I've definitely dealt with souls like that that, like, wanted to be reunited with their family and they didn't know how and they had to do the work. And so that's sort of how this came along, actually. It was kind of like, oh, we got to do the work regardless. You understand? Whether we're alive or dead, you know, dead. We're not really dead. We're still like, we are these eternal beings. And so it doesn't matter where you go. You actually want to get better. You got to do the work. And either here or there. Just there. Now you want a vacation?
Look, sir, I don't know what to tell you.
Take those vacations now if you don't want to do the work, because then you Want to go on other.
Yeah, because.
[00:35:59] Speaker B: Because much physical need to survive, work, it. It prevents vacations in this realm.
[00:36:09] Speaker C: Well, that's. And then that's the problem. Right? So, like, this is the stuff that I talk about in my healing sessions there. You know, a lot of the guides that come through are like, you're just. You're just surviving.
Most of humanity at this moment is just on survival mode. And the reason is. And one of the reasons is because of all that, like, this is how it is and this is how it needs to be. And this is.
And nobody's really aligning to what they are or who. What they want and what they want to be. Because I got to pay bills, because I got to do this, because I got to be this way. Because if not.
And so. But really what's happening is you're disconnected from yourself. And if you're disconnected from yourself, you're obviously going to be disconnected from spirit or source. And so then you never really know the reality. And so you never really, like, try to do better or you have it in your head that you're like, ah, whatever, when I die, I'll figure it out. Or.
My dad used to say, when I die, it's all going to be over. And I'm like, now I. Now I think about it and I'm like, well, he was wrong.
[00:37:09] Speaker B: Oh, no.
[00:37:14] Speaker C: You know, I've talked to my father actually, after his passing, he's come to visit.
He's actually. He. He became my sister's guide. So that's really cool. He stayed in the family, but he's not my guy. So I see him. Well, I don't see him. I speak to him every now and then, but he's one of the ones guiding my sister now. But it was a very interesting conversation being when I told him, I was like, no, I have to thank you. So I think that him dying and then him coming to me, and he kept coming to me after his death, but I just didn't realize that was really what helped me sort of take the turn. And I think it was because he was an atheist in his life, right? Like, he was a huge atheist.
And one of the things he told me was like, well, I had to make sure that you weren't going to make the same mistake I did in my life. And I was like, you did well, sir.
But yeah, but that's the other. The only other side is not very different.
When I speak to guides and stuff like that, they curse. I remember somebody was very, like, very surprised. They were like, oh, they curse. And I was like, yeah, just because you're divine beings doesn't mean that they don't express themselves. Like, cursing is really not that big of a deal.
You know, things like that.
[00:38:26] Speaker B: So got to speak mind.
[00:38:30] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:38:31] Speaker B: What'd you say?
[00:38:31] Speaker A: Jay said, interesting.
[00:38:33] Speaker B: Very interesting.
[00:38:37] Speaker C: Oh, yes, there are.
Yes, they are. They have personalities. You understand? It's very. It's. It's consciousness. You know, nobody can just. Can science tell you where consciousness is in the brain? No. Can science tell you what consciousness is? No, but we know it exists, right?
So it's all part of that. So it's. It's conscious entity, energy, and then these beings have their own thoughts and personalities and ways of life. It's so. It's like literally worlds out there.
So it's pretty cool.
[00:39:10] Speaker B: So have you ever been, we'll say, out in. Out in the wild, out in the public?
Do you have somebody that comes to you and is very insistent? I need you to communicate this message. I need you to do this. Have you ever had anything like that happen?
[00:39:30] Speaker C: No. Well, first of all, when I'm out in the wild, so to speak, in the beginning, I was very open and very, very receptive to a lot of people's itch. And it was just very, very uncomfortable. Like, imagine going to the grocery store and feeling somebody's anger or feeling, like, disgusted by the fact that somebody probably didn't take a shower in two days, or like something like that, or coming around and feeling somebody sad. And it was just very emotional for me. And I was like, cut it off.
We can't do this. So that's one thing. When I'm now out in the public, I've learned to, like, not necessarily always tap in so that I'm not overwhelmed with the stuff. The other thing, too, I'm not. I don't.
I don't really, like, project or like, protest. Protest or what is.
My God.
I don't really say what I am, you understand? I. I'm not in the public, and I. I'm just normal person, you know, I'm not trying to, like, hey, do you need a medium?
[00:40:30] Speaker B: Right?
[00:40:32] Speaker C: You understand? Like, I don't. I don't do that. I try to live my normal life because this is already very tough thing sometimes. I'm always, you know, so if I can have, like a normal life in between all this stuff, right? I'm taking it.
But I have been in public and felt people's things, understand? I've been in public and seen things, and I'm just Like, well, I've been in public and been approached to, like beings, and they're like, can you please tell this person something? And I'm like, oh, my God, no, I cannot.
But, okay. Because I feel bad because they obviously have a message, right?
So. But I tried to cut that because again, it's so strange. You know what it is? Going up to a stranger and being like, your father has a message for you.
[00:41:21] Speaker B: I couldn't imagine.
[00:41:22] Speaker C: Do you understand? Like, what the heck? Like, get away from you psycho time.
[00:41:28] Speaker B: You can even get people to acknowledge when you open a door for them or hold a door for them in this day and age. I couldn't imagine going up to somebody and saying, hey, this is really awkward, but yeah, so is telling me that I need to talk to you and.
[00:41:48] Speaker C: You have a minute.
Yeah, it is a very strange situation, but it's happened a couple times and I'm just like, let's not. Let's try not to do that.
I'm in public, I'm with my family, I'm with, you know, people like this.
Weird.
[00:42:04] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:42:05] Speaker B: I definitely could not imagine having I have enough noise in my head on a daily basis of my own. I couldn't imagine having the noise of other people and emotions and.
[00:42:19] Speaker C: Yeah, it is. It is a time.
It is a time.
But, you know, I do good things and, you know, I'm really happy where I am now in life. And, you know, for a long time, it was really hard for me to accept this. And I used to think that, like, all people are gonna think I'm crazy, like, I'm not gonna be taken seriously, you know, And I've been helping people now for the last year, and I've had such a positive response. And it only makes me realize that I'm obviously filling a need in some sort of gap. And it's a form of healing that has so far proving to be very, very effective. Because we're getting. And we're tapping into things that not even therapists tap into sometimes, Right? And so, you know, I've seen a difference even my own. Like, the clients keep coming back. Like, the fact that I even have a stable, like, income coming in is just enough for me to be like, oh, well, I'm doing something right. Because otherwise, why would they come back right on a weekly, bi weekly basis?
[00:43:21] Speaker B: The other thing that I read on your website, which I thought was very beautiful, was that you don't set a price for your readings.
[00:43:29] Speaker C: No, I don't.
[00:43:30] Speaker B: It's if you can afford, you know, pay what you can afford. If this is something that you need, you know, starting at nothing.
But if you can give something, great. If you can't, then, you know. And then I also saw that you not only do individual readings, you do group readings as well.
That's.
[00:43:50] Speaker C: I can't. I haven't done one in a while. But yeah, it's. It's a little intense.
But, yes, I. I do group reading, family. If I help a, like, family, like a, you know, with their situations, um, I do individuals and everything's pay what you can. I don't set a price because everybody has a different financial situation and limitation.
And this isn't supposed to be like extortion. It's supposed to be service.
[00:44:17] Speaker B: Right.
[00:44:18] Speaker C: And, you know, am I going to always be like this where I'm not going to have a set price? I don't know. Because at some point, I know that if I do grow, I'm going to have to have some sort of boundary.
[00:44:29] Speaker B: Right.
[00:44:30] Speaker C: You understand?
But at the moment, I'm not there yet, you understand? I don't have that much at that. That sort of kind of influx, you understand, where I have to be like, oh, no, like, I can't, you know, but, like, for now and until the foreseeable future, that's how this is going to work. And I think it really evens out because I have people pay me, fine, $20 a session or reading, I have people pay me 200.
[00:44:55] Speaker B: Right.
[00:44:56] Speaker C: You know, so it just. It's whatever you feel is worth your time and whatever you want to contribute. And I'm. I think it all evens out in the end. So I'm. Yeah, as long as I'm helping, that's what matters. Right.
[00:45:16] Speaker B: And do you help others that may feel like they have kind of had their third eye open? Do you help them in, you know, going through that journey?
[00:45:27] Speaker C: Yeah. Wonderful. I have a few clients that, in our sessions, they started opening, like, their gifts started coming or, like, developing. And so part of now, the healing sessions and the sessions that we have is exploring these feelings, exploring the gifts, and then learning how to navigate them and develop them. And, you know, it kind of goes hand in hand with their own healing, too.
Okay. So it's really cool, actually. And it's really cool, too, when we get confirmed. I think this is the best part when I have, like, one of my clients that, like, she's like, oh, I think I saw this and this and this. And I'm like, oh, but I see this and this. And then she's like, yeah, and I'm like, yeah, okay. And then we see the same thing, and I'm like, oh, okay. We can, like, we validate each other, right? So it's really. It's really nice so. Because everybody's gift is going to be different or, you know, we're going to have similarities. But the point is that the information at least, should be the same or the message to be the same. So it's really nice to. To help others in that journey, too.
[00:46:30] Speaker B: That's beautiful. I love that because I'm sure when.
When your eye kind of opened up, I'm sure it was a scary journey and trying to find resources that weren't going to extort you, and.
[00:46:44] Speaker C: Yeah, it was really scary. It was really scary because I went through things that I had never been through in my life. My husband, who, you know, me and him are now separated because just so much has happened and he couldn't. He just can't take the fact that this is what I do now.
You know, so much of my life has changed because of this.
My sister was scared. I had my friends, like, were like, what is going on with Deborah? Because again, I was just not a believer. This was not part of my. Anything in my radar.
[00:47:20] Speaker B: Right.
[00:47:21] Speaker C: Like, I was doing tarot, and they were like, okay. I was like, learning about the paranormal and the spiritual. They were like, okay. And then all of a sudden, I'm, like, in it. In it and, like, saying things. And they were like, what is wrong with you?
Are you okay?
Yes.
[00:47:37] Speaker B: The psychologist told me I was okay.
[00:47:40] Speaker C: Psychiatrist and the forensic psychologist told me I was like, I'm. You know, I was. I'm fine. And I still see a forensic. My forensic psychologist every now and then. Now. I mean, it was obviously for a while, it was a lot more frequent. But, you know, now I'm just entering a whole new level, and I'm just like, okay, well, obviously, I'm not crazy. Obviously, I'm not imagining things. So, you know, and I've been doing my own healing because that's part of the.
Part of my job, you know, I have to lead by example.
So this is what I do.
[00:48:14] Speaker B: It's very beautiful. And there's going to be a lot of people that benefit greatly from it.
[00:48:18] Speaker C: I hope so. That's kind of the point.
Yeah.
[00:48:25] Speaker B: So has there been a favorite reading or session or something that was very memorable? They all have their own.
[00:48:33] Speaker C: I know there's been a few. Yeah. I. You know, the sessions are kind of heavy.
There was a memorable one for a bad reason or not A bad one, but it was very powerful for me. And then there was another session that was memorable because of the relationship. So, okay, couple sessions. So one session, I was channeling the son of a, you know, family whose son had passed away. And this section, this session actually didn't go well. So, true story, not all my sessions are, like, the best, because it really just depends on the person. And this happened to be one of the sessions that unfortunately, the woman was like, I don't believe it. And I was like, okay, no problem. And I remember feeling so bad after that session. I cried.
I was like, what am I doing?
This isn't real. I'm crazy. Like, I remember just being like, I don't even know what I'm doing. And the being was still there. And this. So the sun was still there.
And he goes, I need you to remember something or, like, take something into account.
And I was like, what? And he's like, you're not just doing it for the humans.
You're also doing it for us. And while my mother may not understand what you just did, I do.
And I will take this with me forever. You have no idea the power and what you just did for me. So remember that when you do this, even if the person's not ready to receive the message or, like, understands what you're doing or trusts you or believes, you know that we do.
We know the truth, and we appreciate you.
And that just made me like.
I was just like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And it really uplifted me, and I think it helped me.
Really put me in another level when it came to doing my sessions, because I realized I'm not only helping my client, I'm helping their loved one on the other side. And not all people are ready to receive this messages because there's all these constructs and there's all these beliefs. Like, if I don't tell you a certain thing, I'm not real, you understand? Or if it doesn't come in a certain way, I'm not real. I'm like, okay, well, I'm sorry you feel that way. I used to think that too, but here we are. Another session that was really powerful for me was just the session where the mom and the son really connected. And that was beautiful. Like, there was a lot of crying. There was a lot of, like.
Like, questions being asked. And then, like, this feeling from, like, the son, just, like, feeling better and alleviate it and just being like, okay, like, you understand, because there was so much grief around his passing, because it was a very sudden passing.
And that was a very nice. Because I really feel like the. You know, the. The sun came through very powerfully.
And then another session that impacted me, but this one was kind of crazy. This one I didn't expect. So this one started off really beautifully. It was a woman and her uncle. So the uncle came through. I never know who's gonna come through. And not always family members come through. Sometimes it's spirit guides.
But, oh, my God, Like, I'm getting more information when we. All these sessions, like, oh, yeah, that one was good too. But anyway, so the uncle came through, and it started off so nice, like, hey, it's so nice to see you.
Like the uncle. And he's like, I really want to talk to you about your dad, because it's the dad's brother. Like, girls dad's brother. I want to talk to you about your dad. And, you know, all these things. And there was, like, such a good feeling. And then, like, not even five minutes in, I'm channeling this being, and he's talking about these things, like, super cool guy. And I see the letters SA Flash in front of me, and I get this really disgusting feeling, like this really disturbing sinking feeling. And I'm like, whoa.
I freak out, and I go, hold on. And he's like. He's all excited, and I'm like.
And then I tell the girl. I'm like, hold on. I need to ask him something privately for a second, because obviously I can do it in my mind. It's all right.
And I remember just stopping, and I'm. I kind of look at this guy or, you know, look at him. I'm not really. Obviously, there's nothing in front of me, but whatever. This is so crazy, the way I explain it. But anyway, here we are. I'm facing this being, and I remember asking him in my mind, I'm like, did you. Did you essay your niece?
Like, he's like, no. And I was like, did you ask me? He's like, no, I think you're loving.
And he was like, no, I didn't. I go, don't worry. Don't worry. And I remember just being like, I'm not gonna talk to you. And I go to the girl. I was like, I'm sorry. I really have to ask this, because it came up, and it's really bothering me.
Were you essayed by your uncle? And she was just like, yes.
And I was like, what are we doing? Why is he here? And she was like, I didn't think that that would Come up. Why?
She was like, we had a really good relationship. And I was like, well, they came up because obviously it needs to, because he's not being accountable for it.
[00:54:10] Speaker B: Right?
[00:54:11] Speaker C: And that turned into a whole other reading. Like her. Her guide had to come in and, like, step in between me and this guy. And it was this being. And it was just like, it was intense to the point where later on that night, the being came to me upset, like, trying to, like, hurt me upset. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing here?
But, I mean, obviously nothing happened, but it was probably one of the more powerful ones where I was like, you really don't know what's going to come through. And just because you're on the other side doesn't mean you've done the work and you're a good person or you're a good being or whatever. Like, he was not going to acknowledge the pain that not only he caused him this pain woman, but other members of the family too.
[00:55:00] Speaker B: Right?
[00:55:01] Speaker C: He wasn't going to acknowledge it.
[00:55:02] Speaker B: That's.
[00:55:03] Speaker C: And I was like, wow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So. And. But that's what I do. Like, you kind of air out the dirty laundry because that's the only way to, like, help people find closure or heal. And God knows what she needed to know or need it. And she's. She's come back to me and.
And she's recommended a lot of people to me.
[00:55:22] Speaker B: Well, that's.
[00:55:22] Speaker C: So I'm really, really happy. But, you know, unfortunately, this was crappy. But you just never know what's going to come through.
[00:55:31] Speaker B: So if anybody does want to get in touch with you or have a reading or whatnot, how. How do they get in touch with you?
[00:55:41] Speaker C: Well, my preferred method is Instagram. I do DMs. I'm definitely a texter, so you can DM me on Instagram on my handle parent at Paranormal Paradigma. Paranormal Paradigma. That's it. Nothing in the middle of nothing. No dots, no hyphens, no nothing.
And then if not, you can always go through my website, www.parormalparadigma.com or my email, Deborah endeavor-e b o r a.
[00:56:11] Speaker B:
[email protected] and we'll include all those links and everything in the show notes so you guys can get in touch with her and go from there.
And before we started recording, Jeremy and I both mentioned that if you picked up on anything from us from a loved one or whatnot, that we would be interested in hearing what you have picked up on.
Is there anybody that came through more for Jeremy or for myself?
[00:56:42] Speaker C: It was definitely for Jeremy.
When. When you said that, I was like, oh, okay, we're here.
[00:56:49] Speaker B: You ready for. Are you still okay with this, Jeremy?
[00:56:52] Speaker A: I'm game for it.
[00:56:53] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:56:53] Speaker C: I'm game. Okay.
This is interesting. Oh, okay.
What?
There's a lot of nerves here because.
Oh, my God. I feel kind of put on the spot. All right, go.
It's okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
So I have two beings for a Jeremy, actually.
[00:57:25] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:57:25] Speaker C: So we have a spirit guide and we have a family member. Yeah. Yeah. But it looks like the family member and even I'm a little hesitant for the family member. And so is your spirit guide. Right, Right.
Interesting. Say, what do you want to say?
Yes. Yes. Do we have to say hi?
Yes. Yeah, let me say hi.
Or this is what I. Okay. So before every reading, we always do a formal hello.
You ready?
Okay.
I'm sorry. You're welcome.
Yeah.
Okay.
We say hello.
I'm going to talk to your guide, Jeremy, and see what happens here. And now you're going to see how it kind of works with me. Now that you've already seen how it goes. I'm not going to look at you guys, and I'm going to just do what I do. I guess I am nervous.
All right, no problem.
Guide. Yes. Male guide. Yes. Do you have a male guide?
Yes. Okay.
We don't know. Okay, so let's distinguish. This is Jeremy's guide. Yeah. Yes.
You were right when you said you're open or game.
I don't think they realize what that means. Yeah. Yeah.
So let's go and continue. Yeah. Yes.
This is amazing.
Yeah. Thank you. You're welcome.
Okay, back to this.
Jeremy, this is a tough reading just because obviously we already know and everybody already knows that you're skeptic. So you're probably going to be looking for specific information that's going to be touch and go.
So we'll see if this resonates, and then I'll determine whether or not you're ready to speak to your family.
Does that make sense?
[00:59:37] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:59:38] Speaker C: Perfect.
So a few things that we can probably talk about when it comes to your home.
This home.
No. Good answer. Good question.
Not this home.
Childhood home. Perfect.
Your childhood home.
I feel like we have some.
Oh, God.
I want to talk about.
Okay. Your family member. Yeah.
Yeah.
When it comes to your childhood home, Jeremy, I feel like there are a lot of things that should have been addressed in my life that were not addressed.
And in your life while I was alive, do you Understand?
We will talk about some of that.
A lot of your.
Sorry, this is a little emotional. Yeah. Yes. What?
Very hard to really understand who you are and find yourself when you don't really have parents that are really good at that. And to begin with. Do you understand?
[01:01:19] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:01:20] Speaker C: Yeah.
Your mother.
Mother. Your mother.
Okay. That's very, very, very. Your.
A woman that, unfortunately, best way to put your mother isn't exactly. Wasn't exactly the best example of a mother. Do you understand?
[01:02:00] Speaker A: Yes.
[01:02:02] Speaker C: And me?
You.
Yeah. And your father was not as present or as fatherly as he could have been. Do you understand?
[01:02:21] Speaker A: Yeah.
Okay.
[01:02:24] Speaker C: And for that I feel like I should apologize because the reality is that this kind of back and forth, up and down that you've been facing in your life has a lot to do with the lack of foundation that we gave you.
Does that make sense?
[01:02:50] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:02:52] Speaker C: And the fact that now you're in a place where we honestly think your wife is your saving grace, that if it not work, say this. If it were not for Tracy, I don't know where the fuck you'd be right now. Do you understand?
[01:03:10] Speaker A: Yes.
[01:03:11] Speaker C: And it is cry. So.
It is so.
It is so comforting to know that she has helped you in ways that nobody has ever given a shit.
That includes oste your parents. Do you understand?
[01:03:43] Speaker A: Yes.
[01:03:45] Speaker C: And so I.
Oh, God, you're very nervous.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm very grateful that you cleaned your act, so to speak, and began to really respect your wife in the way that she needed to be respected.
Do you understand?
[01:04:36] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:04:37] Speaker C: Perfect.
So couple things that I want to talk about.
Other than that, how proud and how godsent I think your wife is.
I also want to talk about where you can probably improve in your relationship.
And as a.
As a what?
As a what?
Do you guys have kids? Father. As a father.
As a. Do you have children?
[01:05:25] Speaker B: Not together. No.
[01:05:28] Speaker C: He does. You do? Jeremy?
[01:05:31] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:05:32] Speaker C: As a father. Okay. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah.
There's been problems there for a while. Yeah. Yes.
And I think that may be my absence and the fact that I could have paid more attention has really impacted him, though. It's not that he doesn't try, but there are ways that I feel in the communication with your children, you're just. You guys aren't getting through to each other. Do you understand?
[01:06:23] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:06:24] Speaker C: And this is a problem because I don't want this to be your life.
I want you to have a real relationship with your children. Something that I didn't establish with you beforehand.
Does that make sense?
[01:06:41] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:06:42] Speaker C: And there is effort from your part that you need to put in that you haven't been putting in because you're tried.
Do you understand?
[01:06:56] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:06:57] Speaker C: Thank you, Jeremy. Being a father is hard, but being an empathetic, understanding, loving, doting dad is even harder because you got to put your aside.
Does that make sense?
[01:07:14] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:07:15] Speaker C: And you got to put your aside.
[01:07:17] Speaker A: Okay?
[01:07:19] Speaker C: So sometimes you're. You're harsh on them because you're harsh on yourself.
And that comes from not having me. And your mother, especially your mother, Your mother, your mother, your mother, you know.
[01:07:39] Speaker A: She.
[01:07:42] Speaker C: There is no blame here, right? There's no blame game. It's not this fault, not that fault. Every. Everybody has faults in this. And I just wish that she gave more.
She was around.
Do you understand?
[01:08:01] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:08:03] Speaker C: And so part of the reason that you're so difficult with yourself.
[01:08:06] Speaker A: We'll be back after these messages.
[01:08:10] Speaker B: Busy, stressed. Still staring at that mess.
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[01:08:36] Speaker A: And back to the show.
[01:08:38] Speaker C: And so angry sometimes is the fact that, you know, you didn't have a mom that gave you this compassion and this nurturing that you really needed to develop.
And then you didn't really have that for me. All you really had was more of the.
The authority, the.
This is how gets done.
The typical masculine. And that didn't help your cause. And so now as a dad, you know, a lot of times you just bump heads because part of that nurturing and compassionate side of you, though, it exists and you have it, obviously you've been married to Tracy. Things are working. She's dealt with. She. He. I'm telling you, Jeremy, she is fucking godset because the shit that she's put up with is not easy.
That woman has a heart of gold. Do you understand?
[01:09:31] Speaker A: Yes.
[01:09:32] Speaker C: Thank you.
So thank God for her. And maybe you should listen sometimes a little more because she really knows. She is so tapped into her compassion, that's where you need it most.
Do you understand?
[01:09:48] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:09:49] Speaker C: Yeah.
And so if there's anything my message today, and yes, you can just tell them I'm his father.
My message today is that don't up. And I know you're.
You're obviously doing better than I did, I feel, so I'm going to give you that. But you can do much, much better than what you're. You.
Do you understand?
[01:10:15] Speaker A: Yep.
[01:10:16] Speaker C: And the last thing that you want is to have this rift between you guys open further.
You don't want that.
Not at this stage of your life, especially now that you're getting older.
What you want to do is bring everything together again.
And no, Tracy's not at all.
Do you understand?
Do you have questions? We're gonna keep this short, okay.
[01:10:44] Speaker A: I don't think.
[01:10:49] Speaker C: I'm around.
I visit Tracy.
Tracy has felt things. Tracy, that's sometimes me. Other times it's other beings. But I am around. And I know Tracy feels things.
So hopefully, now that she knows I'm around, she could probably pick up on it. If she stops being afraid. Yeah, we'll see.
Is the best for her, too, because she is the channel. She is the one who is open and can probably help Jeremy further in his journey.
Yeah. Yeah. Do you have anything to say?
I think he nailed it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay.
Yeah.
Any other questions?
[01:11:38] Speaker B: Do you have any questions?
[01:11:39] Speaker A: No.
[01:11:43] Speaker C: Good. All right. I'll let you do your thing. Yeah? Yes. Okay.
You? I'm good. We're good. No, we're fine. We're good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Are you going back?
Okay.
Hi.
[01:11:59] Speaker B: Hi.
[01:11:59] Speaker C: How are you feeling?
[01:12:01] Speaker A: Good.
[01:12:02] Speaker C: Good. How was that?
[01:12:04] Speaker A: Pretty good.
[01:12:05] Speaker C: Pretty good.
Yeah. So that was. The first thing that came through was your dad. And I was like. I don't know if I should say that it's your dad off the bat, because that I guess you figured out, but I guess you figured it out.
[01:12:20] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:12:22] Speaker C: Oh, Granddad. What was that?
What?
Oh. Oh. This is what you were talking about last time, Tracy.
About his granddad.
Yeah. He's probably not going to know. Yeah. Yeah.
What? He's not. What?
Some.
Okay. What's the message? Okay. This is his guide. Some things are not always meant to be discovered.
And that's all I'm going to say.
Yeah. Yes.
Okay. Okay.
[01:13:14] Speaker B: That was from his grandfather.
[01:13:16] Speaker C: That was from his guide about his.
[01:13:19] Speaker B: About the grandfather. Some things are not always meant to be discovered.
[01:13:24] Speaker C: Yeah.
[01:13:24] Speaker A: What does that mean? A little cryptid there.
[01:13:27] Speaker C: Cryptic. Yeah. I don't know. But whatever that means. So.
But anyway, that's sort of how my ability works. So, as you see, they speak, and it's not always, like, very detailed personal information. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. The point is that it speaks to your soul or your subconscious or you.
And so that's what this is about.
[01:13:51] Speaker A: So I'll have to de riddle that last one, because that's confusing.
[01:13:57] Speaker C: I don't know. I think.
[01:13:58] Speaker B: I think I have it.
[01:14:00] Speaker C: Oh, okay.
[01:14:01] Speaker A: What is it?
Yeah. You don't have it?
[01:14:05] Speaker B: No, I do.
What did we spend hours and days and weeks trying to uncover from your grandpa's chest?
[01:14:16] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. I guess it could be we need.
[01:14:20] Speaker B: A trip to Boston. But he's saying that it's not. Not, you know, some secret shouldn't be uncovered.
[01:14:28] Speaker A: Yeah, well.
[01:14:30] Speaker B: I don't know.
[01:14:31] Speaker C: I think. Yeah. I don't know. Your granddad was part of something.
[01:14:37] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. De riddle. That one. That is a mystery, man.
[01:14:42] Speaker C: That is. But it looks like it's okay.
What?
Oh, they're like. I cannot say. They're like. I cannot say. Whatever your granddad was involved in was, like, secret.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yes.
[01:15:00] Speaker A: Well, I'm gonna find out, Pops.
[01:15:03] Speaker C: Well, whatever it was, it was secret stuff, so just, you know, if you can, I don't know. Have fun. Good luck, I guess.
Yeah. Yeah.
[01:15:21] Speaker A: I don't know if that riddle will ever be figured out.
[01:15:23] Speaker B: Yeah, it's a pretty tough.
[01:15:24] Speaker C: I mean, no. I mean, even what's coming through is very, like. It's like. It's almost like I see black, like a box. Like. Like, bar. Like, black. You just cannot. Do not pass, though. Do not collect 100, 200, you know, like, whatever.
[01:15:38] Speaker A: That's pretty much how he was. So you would ask him a question, and he would never give you a straight answer, so. I mean, even his brothers and stuff.
[01:15:53] Speaker C: Yeah.
[01:15:54] Speaker A: So, yeah, there's a lot of weirdness there.
[01:15:57] Speaker C: Well, apparently, he.
He knew things and did things that are just not meant to be revealed.
So.
[01:16:05] Speaker B: Yeah, there's a lot of. Lot of interesting things that we uncovered, like trying to dig into this.
[01:16:13] Speaker A: Honestly, though, he should have never told me that, because now I'm gonna spend a bunch of money trying to.
[01:16:23] Speaker C: I mean, hey, it's your money, but, like, they're literally being like, you're not gonna get too far that.
Although they might as well just save your money.
[01:16:37] Speaker B: The one hurdle that you ran into was that the military medical records. The building has burned down.
[01:16:46] Speaker C: So not even all for a reason, apparently. Yes.
Yeah.
Okay. Yeah, I just got, like, duh. Obviously, we weren't gonna let that get out there.
Hello?
[01:16:59] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:17:01] Speaker B: That's crazy.
[01:17:02] Speaker C: That is interesting.
[01:17:03] Speaker B: That is very.
[01:17:05] Speaker A: More info on that. I definitely want to know.
[01:17:08] Speaker C: I doubt I will. They. They give me what they want to give me. They.
It's not like I just.
[01:17:15] Speaker A: What if I just say the words Edmund a Banu.
Do you get anything from that?
[01:17:33] Speaker C: Yes, I can get some things from that away.
Oh. But what I'm getting from that is about him and his. And your father.
[01:17:48] Speaker A: Him and my father.
[01:17:51] Speaker C: Your father. Your mother, somebody. Hold on. Who is this?
Oh, no, that was me. Yeah.
Okay. What is that? Edmund? A bonnet.
Oh, don't call him.
What?
Yeah, yeah, it was your dad being like. Don't. Don't call him.
Okay? We won't allow him in.
Oh, that's even more. Whoa.
What was that?
They're giving me. No, no.
Whoa.
Look, whoever your granddad was on this side, you into some dark.
Ah.
Okay, cool.
Yeah.
Interesting.
I don't know who he was in life.
In life, I'm getting.
I mean. Yeah, I can see that. Strict.
But Khan.
Khan, Khan, yes. Okay. I'm getting, like, so many confirmations with Khan. Do you know if he was a con artist?
[01:19:49] Speaker A: I don't know.
[01:19:50] Speaker C: I mean, interesting.
[01:19:53] Speaker A: So here. Here's. Here's a thing that I found.
I think after he passed away, I was going through one of his dressers, and first there was a tax record that showed that apparently my dad had a sister that nobody knew about.
It said Nadine, age 5, Michael, age 2 or 3. I can't remember exactly, but anyways, in that there was a dishonorable discharge for Edmond A. Banu.
And I just always found it weird that he would have a medical or not a medical, just a dishonorable discharge for some other person.
And my grandpa's name was Edward Alexander.
[01:20:53] Speaker B: And he claimed he didn't have a middle name.
[01:20:56] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:20:56] Speaker B: And the discharge records were for an Edmund A. Banu.
[01:21:01] Speaker A: Yeah.
So I'm thinking, like, my grandpa, something bad happened. He dropped the banu, made his middle name, his last name. You know, I mean.
[01:21:15] Speaker B: But yeah, here's the interesting thing, also is Jeremy had a copy of the Social Security records, and there was stuff messed up on their Social Security application.
And when I went digging a little bit deeper on an ancestry website, supposedly Edward's parents, there is no record of Edward being born to them, but there is record of his grandmother being born to the Alexander family.
So her name is as a child, you know, listed as a child of what is, according to the Social Security records, would have been Edward Alexander's parents.
So now we've hit a.
[01:22:07] Speaker A: You know, that's a little weird, too, because supposedly it sounded like maybe my grandma filled out both of the applications, because, you know, that was back when Social Security first started.
[01:22:20] Speaker C: She didn't.
Yeah, yeah, I got a. No, I gotta follow her.
[01:22:29] Speaker A: My grandpa used to always write in, like, cursive letters. Everything was in cursive letters except for his signature.
And the form is filled out in block letters, whereas my grandma's is just like normal writing, you know, Lowercase.
[01:22:48] Speaker C: Yeah.
[01:22:48] Speaker A: Yes.
I don't know.
[01:22:51] Speaker B: There.
There's a lot.
[01:22:53] Speaker A: I can't figure it out.
[01:22:54] Speaker C: Yeah.
[01:22:54] Speaker A: And it. Driving me nuts.
[01:22:56] Speaker C: Yeah. And it's probably. And this is why, like, I don't know if you will. Because I got. I got. The only thing that's coming through is con or like, fraud or like, like. So. And which would kind of go with what you're saying. Like, oh, it was this. But then it wasn't. So there was. And especially back then. Like, it was just so easy.
[01:23:14] Speaker A: Just right.
[01:23:15] Speaker C: Forge things and change things and papers.
So imagine what he did just so that he is. His reputation wouldn't be ruined or he wouldn't be caught.
[01:23:27] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:23:27] Speaker C: Well.
[01:23:28] Speaker B: And they moved Boston to Minnesota.
[01:23:31] Speaker A: The whole thing is. Is, like, weird to me because he is like the one person in my life that has always been good to me.
That's just. We were really close and, you know, he was the nicest guy to everybody. Everybody knew him, you know, by name. He was Ed the bus driver.
And so that's why I find it weird that, like, I don't know, it just.
[01:24:03] Speaker C: Yeah. I'm getting the. Like that. That. That sort of like. So, like, what's I'm kind of seeing is sort of like the. The things that you see in movies or in stories. Like, I changing my life. Like, I am leaving this place. I do not exist. Like, this is not me. Whole new life, whole new personality, whole new everything. But then everything in the past is like, yeah, you know, in the past.
So that's probably what happened with your granddad.
[01:24:29] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:24:30] Speaker C: But apparently he's. He's a big deal here because they're like, don't call him.
I'm like, okay, yeah. So, I mean. But it was. He's evolved. And when I say dark stuff, I don't want you to think, like, evil here, the dark, like, evil isn't really like. It's like a.
Evil here is evil as we know it. It's not evil. It's. There's no. It's not real evil, you understand? It's very few. Not that it doesn't exist, obviously, but it's not. Like, when I say dark, I'm not saying evil. I'm not saying demonic.
[01:25:09] Speaker A: Damn.
[01:25:10] Speaker C: Yeah. But it's just like he's.
It's almost.
Is this true?
Okay. Yeah. It's almost like the feeling that I'm getting is he's good with the darker stuff.
Like, he's in tune with it, but it's not like, bad it's just like. He's a master.
Yeah, exactly.
Interesting. Yeah.
Huh.
Everything is.
Everything's possible. It's really interesting. Your granddad was a very interesting person.
[01:25:50] Speaker A: Well, enough.
If I don't figure it out in life, I guarantee I'll figure it out in the afterlife.
[01:25:58] Speaker C: Oh, I guarantee you will.
[01:26:03] Speaker A: It will be my mission.
[01:26:06] Speaker C: Yes.
And you have the birthright, so, I mean, you're fine.
Yeah.
[01:26:13] Speaker B: Well, that was pretty cool. That was.
[01:26:15] Speaker C: Thank you.
[01:26:16] Speaker B: Experience. And just before we go, do you.
That you don't have to go any. Into as much.
As deep as you did with Jeremy or anything, but do you have any loved ones that are just stepping forward with a message from me or. For me.
[01:26:39] Speaker C: They only allow two at a time, so it's probably why I don't feel anybody from you.
And it seems like they wanted Jeremy to come through, like Jeremy's team to come through rather than yours, because he's less open than you are, and it seems like you're actually doing better. There is something coming through with your own insecurity about what you're doing in your life and where it's going and how you're feeling about your progress and your.
What is that?
Your independent success.
Something about you being independently successful.
Does that make sense?
[01:27:30] Speaker B: It does, yeah.
[01:27:32] Speaker C: So there's a little bit of that, and that just sort of comes with time.
I'm getting. And giving yourself the same love and compassion that you give to others is what I'm getting. Like you're harder on yourself than you need to.
[01:27:57] Speaker A: True, dad.
[01:28:01] Speaker C: Yeah.
[01:28:03] Speaker B: Well, Deborah, I cannot thank you enough for doing this with us today. We would love to have you back another time.
[01:28:10] Speaker C: And.
[01:28:12] Speaker B: This was a lot of fun, a lot. Very informative, and definitely stay in touch.
[01:28:19] Speaker C: I mean, I'm around, so, yeah, I'll be in touch. And if you have any questions or you, you know, just need me to clarify anything or you need clarification, does that mean.
[01:28:31] Speaker B: Great.
[01:28:32] Speaker A: All right, sounds good.
[01:28:33] Speaker B: Conundrum Crew, definitely look her up and hope you enjoyed this episode as well. Until next time, keep on creeping on. We love you.
Bye.
[01:28:45] Speaker C: Bye.
[01:28:46] Speaker A: Thanks for hanging out with us here at Total Conundrum. Please make sure to check out our website and
[email protected] for news, upcoming events, merch bloopers, and additional hysteria. You never know what will pop up, so be sure to follow along. If you want to show your support for Total Conundrum and gain access to all of our bonus content, please visit our Patreon page. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. The links are available in our Show Notes. If you have any questions, comments, recommendations or stories to share, share, please email us at. Contact total conundrum.com episodes are available on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. If you like the show, please rate, review and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. We appreciate the love. Keep on creeping on.
Sam.
